TAYLOR: I am the police. And I'm here to arrest you.
You've broken the law. I did not write the law.
I may even disagree with the law. But I will enforce it.
No matter how you plead, cajole, beg
or attempt to stir my sympathies,
nothing you do will stop me from placing you
in a steel cage with gray bars.
If you run away, I will chase you.
If you fight me, I will fight back.
If you shoot at me, I will shoot back.
Bylaw, lam unable to walk away.
I'm a consequence. I am the unpaid bill.
I am fate with a badge and a gun.
Behind my badge is a heart like yours.
I bleed. I think. I love.
And, yes, I can be killed.
And although lam but one man,
I have thousands of brothers and sisters who are the same as me.
They will lay down their lives for me. And I them.
We stand watch together.
A thin blue line.
Protecting the prey from the predators.
The good from the bad.
We are the police.
(SIREN WAILING)
DISPATCH: 13 X-ray 9 is in pursuit of a Code 37 vehicle west on 2-7.
ZAVALA: Go ahead, motherfucker. Try to run, you son of a bitch.
TAYLOR: Hold on, hold on, hold on!
Eastbound through the alley at 20 hundred block from Hooper.
DISPATCH: Now eastbound through the alley
at 20 hundred block from Hooper.
Oh, shit!
Come around, come around, dude! Come around!
Move! Move! Move! Get the fuck around, dude!
ON LOUDSPEAKER: Pull to the right! Pull to the right!
ZAVALA: Bro, he's not gonna pull to the right.
You stupid motherfucker!
Man, he almost lost it!
Pit him, man! Pit him, pit him!
Got him! (TIRES SCREECHING)
Fuck you!
(DOG BARKING)
You good? Good, good, good.
This fucker's down. I'm going to hook him.
(SIREN WAILING)
You're all good. (HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
TAYLOR ON RADIO: 13 X-ray 9, you can show a Code 4.
DISPATCH: 13 X 9 requesting
additional supervisors to the 4,000 block at Naomi.
Holy shit.
All right. This is my day job. Some of you...
Sorry, bro, I'm recording.
This is my day job. Some of you might know me as Brian.
Or Taylor.
But here I am Police Officer Two Brian Taylor.
This is where the forces of good
prepare to fight the forces of evil.
This is my partner, Officer Zavala.
I'm in my ohones, dude.
I know, dude, come on, come on. I'm in my ohones. No.
Come on, man. I'm good, bro.
We work basic patrol here at Newton.
One of the toughest divisions in the LAPD.
Shootin' Newton, baby, that's right. Lucky 13.
This is a department-issue sidearm. Glock 19.
Spyderco tactical knife.
This little thing can break windows, here.
(CHUCKLES)
Two Smith & Wesson handcuffs.
Can of OC spray. Pepper spray.
Two extra mags.
What else? That's my nametag, here.
You can see my partner's dirty locker.
Yours is like a woman. Look at this.
What is this, Pottery Barn?
Are you gonna shut the fuck up and get ready for roll call?
Dude, don't swear, man. I have to edit that out, when you swear.
Oh, fuck. Oh, shit, dude. Fuck, man.
Okay, now in Spanish.
(SWEARING IN SPANISH)
VAN HAUSER: Hey. You kids having fun?
TAYLOR: Oh, look, it's Officer Van Hauser.
Officer Three. Van Hauser.
Considered un-promotable by the department.
(WHISPERING) And the angriest fucking cop in the world. (CHUCKLING)
Taylor, I'm gonna tell Sarge that you're taping in here.
TAYLOR: What'd you say? ZAVALA: What?
I'm gonna tell Sarge that you're taping in here.
Oh. Yeah, well, it's not really called taping any more.
It uses flash cards, but it's not really a...
Don't worry about it.
God damn it!
TAYLOR: Hold up, hold up.
Like that? Mmm-hmm.
Turn it on.
So, am I recording you?
Yes, dude, and I'm recording you.
Oh, that's so cool.
See that thing there? Yeah.
That is the lens right there.
Just like that on that, this right here.
(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY) SARGE: Hey, guys, quiet down.
All right, let's settle down. Let's settle down.
Captain's here, he'd like to say a few words. Let's quiet down.
Thank you, Sergeant. Good afternoon.
ALL: Good afternoon. Put it down.
I'd like to welcome back Zavala and Taylor.
DA cleared these guys in last month's shooting.
Turned out to be a good shooting.
I know first-hand what you guys went through.
It's an unpleasant experience being under that much scrutiny.
But you need to remember something.
An on-the-job shooting is still considered a homicide.
It's never an easy ride.
If you do the right thing, I will always have your back.
Do the wrong thing and cross me,
I will personally throw you under the bus.
Am I clear? ALL: Yes, sir!
Taylor, am I clear? Yes, sir.
Sergeant, am I clear? Yes, sir.
Have a nice day. SARGE: Thank you, Captain.
(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Quiet down! See this? It's a ticket book.
Inside are things called tickets.
ZAVALA: Son of a bitch.
SARGE: You can do things like stop motorists and cut citations
for speeding or going through alight.
You all need to write.
Sarge, we cut citations every watch.
I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to these two idiots.
My partner has a question. SARGE: Yes.
I don't really know how to write.
(SIGHS IN EXASPERATION)
But I do sign and draw pictures.
Seriously, you don't start writing,
Captain's gonna shit on my head
and in turn, I'm gonna shit on your head. BOTH: Hmm.
And I promise you, you guys are gonna be separated.
DAVIS: Do it, Sarge.
SARGE: Orozco and Davis, X 25.
Peterson and Washington, X 41.
Zavala and Taylor, you got X 13.
Williams and Cho, X 8.
Alameda and Green, X 21. Van Hauser and Sook, X 4.
Yeah, Sarge? That's not our area.
That's not your area? No, we work 9.
Oh, I'm sorry, fellas. Oh, no, you're right. You're on X 13.
Sorry, fellas, this isn't Monopoly.
You don't get to choose your real estate.
Now go. Get out.
(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
Zavala, try not to kill anybody before the end of the watch.
Really, Sarge?
TAYLOR: Sarge, if we kill someone in X 13, can we go back to X 9?
VAN HAUSER: Today is a brand new day.
Get the shop, gas the shop, wash the shop.
Make sure day watch didn't leave behind any surprises for us.
Look for guns, drugs, puke.
OROZCO: Pay attention, Boot.
Goodbye. Hurry up. SOOK: Yes, sir.
TAYLOR: How you doing, Van Hauser?
VAN HAUSER: I warned you about that shit.
DAVIS: Where you running with that piece, Boot?
TAYLOR: What? Why you so scared?
Go, go! Jesus Christ! Go on, shit.
Jesus! It's like it's day one.
Boot, slow down with that piece. Slow down!
ZAVALA: Orozco, have you been working out?
Yeah, with your morn. Why are you shooting everything?
It's for his class.
I thought you were studying law.
Pre-law. I need an art elective.
I'm taking filmmaking.
Well, get my good side, eh?
ZAVALA: You don't have a good side.
Listen, you know they can subpoena that shit
if something goes sideways, right?
Think twice.
Two words. Erase button.
Two words. Just 'cause you guys think
you're these big ghetto gunfighters now,
don't mean you can be dropping your calls.
TAYLOR: That was at least two dozen words.
Yeah, well, I barely got a GED,
so what do you expect, white boy?
Unbelievable.
Saddle up, ladies, we're sick of holding up your end.
ZAVALA: Admit it, you'd hit that shit.
Orozco? Yeah.
With a cinderblock.
DAVIS: Check the roof, Boot.
Where's your shop?
I got Red Bull, Monster and...
DAVIS: They all say 13, check the roof.
Thank you, ma'am. Faster, Boot, let's go.
VAN HAUSER: Get in the car! Yes, sir!
And then I got you some kombucha
'cause I know you like that stuff.
Fuck that shit! (CHUCKLING) What is that?
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
Dude, it's good to be back, man.
Old lady was driving me crazy at the casa, like making me do shit.
(MOCKINGLY) Oh, no! She dared ask for your help around the house.
That's incredible. Outrageous.
Just 'cause I look like the dudes from Home Depot,
doesn't mean I do the shit the Home Depot dudes do.
I would never profile you
as a man who helps his wife with chores.
Shut up.
Dude, I'm your homie, okay?
I would never, ever do that. (CHUCKLING)
Oh, bro! Hmm?
Her brother was always coming over
during the day to swim. Every day.
I hate everything about him.
He smells like weed sometimes.
Like he's got, like, a prescription.
And Gabby was like, "No, it's all good."
I was like, "Whatever, get him the hell out of here."
I swear to God, I'm filling in that pool with cement.
Not personally, 'cause you'll hire
a Home Depot dude for that task.
Fuck you.
(RADIO BEEPS)
DISPATCH: 13 X 13, 4-15 man at 9742 Maple.
Code 2. Incident 4-5-6-2.
13 X 13. Roger, show us en route.
X 13, roger.
First customer of the day.
I hope they enjoy our police service.
(LAUGHING)
(RAP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Suck my dick! That motherfucker's a lying-ass nigga.
Fuck him and fuck you, too!
Shut your fucking... if you touch me, I will fucking shoot you.
Stay where you are.
I don't give a fuck about both you motherfuckers.
I'm ready to die today. Fuck y'all.
This can go one of several ways right now.
It is all about your attitude.
Fuck you! I got my mail!
I helped him!
I helped him give me my mail! I'm getting tired of this shit!
All right. I'm not playing with y'all.
ZAVALA: Sir, if you've been drinking,
you need to stay the fuck inside
and not intimidate the mailman. That's it.
MR. TRE: Fuck you! You need to shut the fuck up!
'Cause without that badge and gun, you ain't shit.
Yeah? You're less than motherfucking nothing.
You motherfucking, border-hopping... Oh, yeah?
...donkey-riding, Mexican motherfucker.
Is that so? You want to find out what I'm about?
MR. TRE: Show me! Yeah, I wanna see! Fuck.
Let's settle this right here like grown men, motherfucker!
TAYLOR: Not again, man.
What'd you say? You wanna take a fade? You want to fight me?
Yeah, I want to fight you. Let's go, bro.
I whoop your punk ass, you gonna get the fuck up out of my crib?
Hell, no. But you called me out, bro!
Now I'm calling you out! What's up?
You whoop my ass,
I'll put them motherfucking handcuffs on my motherfucking self.
And that's on the set. TAYLOR: Door.
MR. TRE: It's gonna be a pleasure beating
your bitch ass. My fucking fantasy.
I don't know who the fuck you think you're fucking with,
but I love this shit. Beatin' a motherfucking punk-ass
police-ass like yours. TAYLOR: Keep talking, bro.
MR. TRE: Let's get this shit popping, motherfucker.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Shit.
This shit's crazy!
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)
TAYLOR: Fucking kick his ass! Come on! Come on, Z! Z!
Yo, Z! Z! Z!
Now get the fuck up. You like that?
This ain't no wrassling match.
You all right? You all right? You all right?
Come on! (PANTING)
Oh, shit!
Come on, man!
That's what happens when you fuck with the police.
(MR. TRE GROANING)
Yeah, come on. Take him! Take him! Take him! Take him!
MR. TRE: Fuck you, border-hopping motherfucker!
(GROANING)
Ooh!
Fucking did that shit.
(INDISTINCT MURMURING)
You all right?
Give me the hooks.
(PANTING)
(SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYING)
What's up, putos?
It's big bad Wicked from Curbside Gang Locos.
You ready for this shit?
Fuck, yeah. I was born to fucking do this shit.
Show these motherfuckers whose barrio this is.
You almost ran the light, stupid.
You're gonna get us pulled over, La.
LA LA: Fuck that shit. I gotta fucking be at work.
You better not bust out wasting my motherfucking time, homie,
I'm gonna tell you that shit right now.
Hey, La La, when you gonna fuck the homeboy?
I'm not fucking the homeboy, dawg.
Yeah, right.
Shit, what I look like?
The little fucking paisa hoochies you guys fucking kick it with?
What you packing, baby?
I'm packing a motherfucking 30-round clip for these slob-ass niggas.
This is it right here, man.
DEMON: Slow down, this is the street, La.
BIG EVIL: This is it. This is it. All right.
Wicked, you're gonna jump and get the party started, got it?
I got you, baby.
Listen to the homie.
BIG EVIL: All right, put your fucking face on, let's go!
LA LA: Get your shit ready.
Put that fucking shit away!
Make sure your fucking shit is good to go.
What the fuck do I gotta fucking tell you?
I don't want to fucking have to baby you, man!
(GUN COCKING)
Get ready, homies. Get ready.
BIG EVIL: Get your face on! All right. Fuck.
WICKED: You guys ready? ALL: Ready.
BIG EVIL: All right.
DJ: But on some real shit, dawg, I'm gonna have to holler at you, B.
Niggas keep on talking about how you got your ass whooped
by a motherfucking little punk-ass wonton.
Nah, Blood, these niggas is hating.
Let me tell you something. Me and the cop got down, right?
Motherfucker took off his badge, dropped his gun.
I mean, he kept it gangster.
We straight-up squabbled. Head up.
But they still took you to the county though, huh?
MR. TRE: Yeah, but for disorderly conduct.
Not for squabbling with the police, you feel me?
You fought a cop and they didn't put
no "assault on a peace officer" on you?
Listen to me, my nigga. I'm trying to tell y'all.
They really showed me love to keep it G.
I'm a two-time felon, right? Y'all know that, right?
Could have struck me out and gave me life
for fighting that cop, you feel me?
I got right out, it wasn't shit.
All right, but we heard you got your ass beat, Blood.
You better shut the fuck up, CK.
I'll run this fucking fork up in your ass, I swear to God.
(LAUGHING) Let me tell you something,
win, lose or draw,
as long as you squabble and get down,
that's gangster, you understand what I'm saying?
Yup.
I mean, that Mexican cop might be acting bull with you, Tre.
But he's still out there killing niggas. Straight out.
MR. TRE: No, no, no. Listen to me, all y'all.
This whole fucking thing is like changing of the guard.
Back in the day, all these neighborhoods used to be black,
and what are they now?
ALL: Mexicans. Exactly.
There used to be chicken stands on the corner,
now there's fucking taco stands on every corner.
We're in some real shit and if we don't come together,
we're gonna be some extinct niggas pretty soon.
TOO TALL: Watch it, watch it, watch it!
(GIRL SCREAMING)
WICKED: Go, go, go!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
MR. TRE: Get CK, Blood! Get CK!
Fuck!
WICKED: Fuck, yeah! We got those putos! We got 'em!
(WHOOPS)
LA LA: Eat shit, motherfuckers!
Fuck! We fucking lit 'em up, dawg!
Show those putos whose neighborhood this fucker is! Shit.
BIG EVIL: (SOFTLY) Fucking proud of you, man.
And that's what I'm fucking telling you. Good.
That was fucking good, man. That's what I'm fucking telling you.
I'm proud of you. Fucking proud.
Fucking did it. That's what I'm fucking talking about, man.
I'm fucking proud of you, man.
Fucking proud of you, man, now you're a fucking man.
Right? Right? Right, homie.
Right.
All right then.
No fucking fear, man. No fucking fear.
That's how we fucking do it, man.
PEANUT: Call the motherfucking ambulance! They got CK!
MR. TRE: Somebody call a fucking ambulance! (GIRL SOBBING)
Hold on, dawg, hold on.
TOO TALL: Bitch-ass sewer rats was from Curbside. I seen them.
Fucking eses are serving us. Curbside's serving us.
Curbside's banging all over us on Bloods.
Peanut, you got that chopper?
Let's go hit these punk-ass fools.
Cut that fucking camera off!
TAYLOR: So this is what we believe to be the Code 37 vehicle
used in the drive-by last night.
ZAVALA: Curbside Gang's at it again, bro.
It fits the description. It comes back as stolen.
Curbside likes these vehicles because they blend in,
you can put a lot of people in them.
This door slides back, and the gang members open fire.
The victim was a male black from a Blood set that
has basically been at war with this Hispanic gang
over control of narcotic sales.
Partner. Yeah.
What up? Check this out.
Oh, shit. Those are shell casings.
Detectives told us that three different weapons were used
and we're seeing at least two kinds of shells, so...
Shit. (CLEARS THROAT)
What's up?
Those are the Homicide detectives working the case.
The hell's this? TAYLOR: What?
Candid Camera?
No, sir, it's just a project I'm working on.
Yeah? TAYLOR: Yeah.
I don't want to see that.
There are .45 and .09 millimeter shell casings inside.
DETECTIVE 2: How do you know that?
Did you touch them? No, sir.
Did you fuck up my vehicle?
No, sir.
Sir, we found it, we called you.
The big dogs are here now,
so set up some yellow tape and stay on the other side of it.
Dude, it's been two hours, we're still waiting for the detectives
to release the scene so we can go back on patrol.
Comfortable footwear. Policing is all about comfortable footwear.
TAYLOR: Officer Van Hauser. Good evening.
Sarge said I should relieve you guys
so you can go back to being the street gods that you are.
I'm down with that.
Hey, hey! On the street.
Watch the street. Make sure no assholes come up here and kill us.
Yes, sir.
Fucking Christ.
Officer Van Hauser, have you made a difference today?
You know, I see you guys out here,
you're being good little company men, aren't you?
You're doing the Lord's work?
And you're making a difference, as you call it.
It's all fun and games to you,
you get to run and jump and fight and shoot.
One day, mark my words.
One day the LAPD is gonna bend you over your black and white,
and they are going to fuck you up the ass.
They are going to fuck you so long and so hard,
you're gonna want to eat your gun just to make it stop.
And if you don't eat your gun
and the fucking somehow magically stops,
(SCOFFS)
they're gonna give you freeway therapy.
You're gonna end up doing West End Valley day watch,
spending two hours every day on the fucking freeway
just thinking about the fucking that they gave you.
Bad guys attack from up front. The department comes in from the rear.
Watch your six.
I'm ready. This may say Purell, but it's really K-Y.
TAYLOR: Officer Zavala.
That's funny. You kids have fun out there.
The LAPD's got a big fucking cock.
You got a big heart.
TAYLOR: Thank you for sharing that.
Can't wait to get it up the ass.
Dude, are you gonna hook up with a Mexican girl?
Quit trying to hook me up with one, dude.
Dude, it'd be great if you did, but...
I get it, man. Shit.
Sweet brown sugar. (CHUCKLING)
You should marry one of my cousins.
If they're anything like you,
I wouldn't be able to stand a fucking hour with them.
(CHUCKLING)
Waking up in the morning, they'd be like,
(IN MEXICAN ACCENT) "Hey, can I tell you a story?"
I know.
"Here's a story about this and a story about that
and a story about this and a story about that..."
But, dude, all you gotta do is this. All you gotta do is this.
"Mmm-hmm."
"Yeah. Yeah."
"You want to come to my cousin's quinceañera?
"My daughter's quinceañera? My brother's quinceañera?"
Yeah. "My sister's quinceañera?"
There's always something happening, though, bro.
It's better than, like,
"Do you know the new kind of flavored coffee I have?"
"Do you like this kind of coffee?" Oh, really?
Shut the fuck up. "The baristas are excellent."
You like fucking coffee, dude, don't give me that shit.
I like fucking good Starbucks coffee.
Whatever. I'll let you lay into me. Lay into me, dude. Fine.
(RADIO BEEPS)
DISPATCH: 13 X-ray 13. Missing juvenile, 2717 Jefferson.
Code 2 incident 5-7-5-5 and RD 13-27.
TAYLOR ON RADIO: 13 X-ray 13, we're gonna be Code 6 on the missing juvenile.
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
TAYLOR: I can't see dick.
Hi.
Yeah. We got a call about some missing children.
Yes. Yes, my babies are gone.
All right. My babies are gone.
You want to let us in? We can talk.
We can have a conversation about this, all right?
Oh, okay, okay.
My babies are gone. They've been missing all night.
And I've been here. TAYLOR: Why don't you step over here a second?
WOMAN: Officer, we're wasting time.
ZAVALA: Sir, let me see your hands.
How many children are missing?
Oh! Two. A boy and a girl.
Ma'am, what are the ages of the children that are missing?
One is one and the other'll be three soon.
Sir! WOMAN: Somebody took them.
Let me see your hands, please. Let me see your hands.
...quick, quick. In and out. ZAVALA: Put your hands behind your head.
All right. All right.
ZAVALA: Hands behind your head!
WOMAN: I've been here all night.
MAN: Officer, we're good here.
Listen, don't say anything to them, man.
WOMAN: I know, but they're not here.
They're gone. The babies are gone.
What did you say?
I'm gonna check the house, okay?
Please listen to me. I'm trying to tell you. I've looked...
The kids are with their grandma.
TAYLOR: Is this your husband? WOMAN: That's not my husband.
Sit the fuck down! WOMAN: I've been looking.
I'm gonna check the house.
Sometimes children can hide under a bed or in a closet, okay?
You can talk to my partner.
You're wasting time!
The kids are not here! If you can please go outside and get my kids.
Talk to my partner.
Stop, don't push me! My babies are missing!
MAN: Let me see some type of warrant. You got a warrant?
Officer, let me see some type of warrant.
ZAVALA: We don't need a warrant, she let us in.
MAN: Why the fuck did you say anything?
Why the fuck did you say anything?
Sit down, man. Officer, can I get a cigarette?
Not right now. (WOMAN SOBBING)
MAN: I'm trying to tell you, the kids
are with their grandma, man, okay?
I heard you. They're with the grandma.
WOMAN: Would you please listen to me, Officer?
MAN: Let me see some type of warrant.
MAN: You shut the fuck up! Why did you let them in here?
WOMAN: Press charges on this motherfucker!
You fucking bitch, I'm gonna kill you!
WOMAN: I'm gonna kill you, motherfucker!
Get the fuck off me!
ZAVALA: What the fuck's happening?
WOMAN: Wait a minute! All right, all right!
Did you hear what I said to you?
You just let me know how clear I have to make myself to you.
Why don't you open your fucking mouth
and tell me how clear I have to make myself to you?
Partner! Partner! Get off him.
Brian, what's up?
You okay, partner?
What's happening, Brian?
MAN: Fuck you, you dumb-ass smoking bitch!
WOMAN: I'm gonna kick you in the fucking face!
I found the kids.
MAN: Go ahead, you fucking crackhead. (BABY CRYING)
TAYLOR: Shit.
Shh, shh!
It's okay, it's okay. You're okay now.
You're okay. Shh, shh.
I'm just gonna... Shit.
(CRYING)
It's okay. It's okay, sweetie. All right.
Hey, buddy, stay still.
All right, you're okay now. You're okay.
(BABY CONTINUES CRYING)
Come here, come here. You okay?
You gonna take care of your sister?
(SIGHS)
Fucking kids.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(CHUCKLING)
ZAVALA: It's so funny.
(MOCK LAUGHING) It's so funny to text.
Who are you texting? That same bitch?
Dude, yeah. She's smart, man.
She's like the first girl I can
actually have a conversation with.
You know she has a Master of Sciences in Fluid Hydraulics.
Fluid Hydraulics? Yes.
I wouldn't brag about that, dude.
That she has a master's degree in Fluid Hydraulics.
I date all these girls, man. They're smoking hot.
Yeah, your little fucking badge bunnies.
I get laid without a badge, thank you very much.
Because you were in the Marines.
Don't ask, don't tell.
There's a pattern. An MO here.
First date is dinner and a respectful kiss.
Second date is dinner, full carnal knowledge.
And then third date is dinner and uncomfortable silences
when I try and discuss anything of merit.
Then it's two or three booty calls and it's on to the next.
Okay, I went to prom and I got married a week later.
And I ain't tapped anybody but Old Faithful for, like, eight years.
So I don't know what you're tripping about, dude.
Okay. Wait, look at me real quick. Uh-huh.
Okay, ready? Okay.
I want somebody to talk to. Not just sleep with.
Do you fucking understand what I'm saying?
Oh!
Yeah. Jesus, dude.
White people get hung up on this fucking "soul mate" bullshit.
Just hook up with a chick that can cook and wants kids.
Some bitch that's down for you,
that won't fuck your friends, and you're straight.
Dude, you're the smartest motherfucker I know,
you're not gonna find some chick that's as smart as you.
Ooh! Whoa!
Really, dude? Yeah, what?
Really? I'm sorry that the perfect girl wasn't dropped in front of me
when I was 18 years old.
Do you talk to Gabby?
Do you even have discussions with the girl?
Do you want me to translate that into fucking His... Spanish?
Into Hispanic?
Whatever the fuck it is. (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
Yeah, bro, what do you think, we're mutes?
And we just... (GRUNTING) Like, sign to each other?
Yeah, we talk, stupid.
Gabby's a trip. You know she's a trip, bro.
You should hear the shit that comes out of her mouth.
You know what? She would be great on Jeopardy!
She's way smarter than I am.
All right, so you see what I'm talking about. That's all I want, man.
I know you want a chick like my girl,
but I'll kill you if you touch her.
Fuck! I'm going to kill you, dude! Shut up, man! (LAUGHING)
(EXHALING LOUDLY)
What's this chick's name, dude?
You don't deserve to fucking know her name.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Dude, fuck that!
Janet. Did you run her?
Yes, she's clean.
She's kind of the complete package, man. It's like...
We're going out again.
Saturday's my little sister's quinceañera.
You should roll through with Janet from another planet.
Dude, this shit's gonna be hard-core Mexican, though, bro.
You know how my familia rolls.
(CHUCKLING)
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
(INAUDIBLE)
Hey, mija.
What's up? Come here, baby girl.
Drink the Jim Jones, baby, come on.
Hey, baby? Tell me something. You ever fucked on heroin?
Yeah, right.
I could fuck forever on that shit.
I'll eat your pussy for hours, girl. Ew!
Get the fuck over here.
Fuck that fool, he's crazy, he's tripping.
You're my fucking lady. I'll buy you shit.
You see this shit right here?
It's fucking money. Real shit.
What you like?
(SPEAKING SPANISH) Come here. Okay.
DISPATCH: Any Newton unit. 5-0-7 party. 3645 Trinity Street.
Incident 38-90 and RD 13-76.
OFFICER: X 9, send me the call.
DISPATCH: X 9, roger. 39-25 shows Code 6 of X 9.
X 25, roger.
TAYLOR: X 13, we're gonna be Code 6 on the party call.
DISPATCH: X 13, roger.
(DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)
OFFICER: Keep your eyes wide, this place is assholed up. Clear the car.
Put that shit away.
Put that down, bro.
What's the occasion?
Can you turn down the music?
(MUSIC STOPS)
OROZCO: Have some respect, La La. Don't light up in front of us.
Why don't you take a hit, mija? It'll chill you out.
It'll be like back in the days. Remember?
I don't remember shit. I don't know what you're talking about.
I said put it out.
You know you want this, pig.
I wouldn't fucking touch that if you were the last bitch on Earth.
Fuck you. No, fuck you.
Why don't you take a seat?
You look in the mirror... Lock it up, Orozco.
...you're just a common gangster bitch like all the rest.
Why don't you sit your ass down?
LA LA: Why don't you do what they tell you, puppet?
OROZCO: Want me to make you? Lock it up, partner.
You know what?
I'll fucking sit down now.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
So, Mr. Big Evil,
why do they call you Big Evil?
Because,
my evil is big.
Can you turn down the music? We got a noise complaint or some shit.
(APPLAUDING)
(TRUMPET PLAYING)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
GABBY: Then you go faster.
I am nailing this. Oh, my...
GABBY: Come on, baby.
Hey, bro. Hey.
Hi, baby. TAYLOR: Cindy, what's up?
I wanted to introduce you to Janet.
Hi. It's so nice to meet you. Happy birthday.
Thank you.
You look beautiful.
Pick up your dress so you don't step on it.
You look beautiful. I gotta go. Bye!
ZAVALA: All grown up. GABBY: He spoils her.
ZAVALA: But I want to give you the lowdown.
I'm listening. I'm listening.
So, everybody here is pretty much family. Like somehow.
They're all Mexican family. (SPEAKS SPANISH)
You got cousins and you got aunts and uncles,
just like everything else, and then you got cousins' cousins.
And then you have Brian. (LAUGHING)
You stick around, you're gonna see somebody throw up.
Couple fights. It's fun. It's fun.
Enough, enough. I'm sorry.
Well, I'm Irish, so it's the same thing.
Big families, and nobody ever gets divorced.
TAYLOR: And they all wear purple. Well, less purple,
but just as much beer. (ALL LAUGHING)
She's funny.
They get way too drunk and get in fistfights.
Yeah, same here.
But you mess with one person, you have the whole family after you.
That's the way to do it.
There you go. ZAVALA: You just described Mexican people.
Can I feel it? Is that okay?
Yeah, he's actually kicking a lot right now. Here.
And I think his feet are right there.
Do you feel it? (CHUCKLING) Wow.
Oh, my God.
I like her, Brian.
Buddy. JANET: How long have you known Brian?
GABBY: Three years. He and Mike went to the Academy together, so...
Right.
(ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING)
JANET: (SOFTLY) Brian, it's you.
Hi.
(GIGGLING)
I'm gonna try not to wake you up.
(SIGHING)
I can't believe that I stayed over.
This, this is interesting. I have never shot one before.
Maybe that could be our next date.
I did go through your wallet. I'm sorry.
I am naturally curious.
I hope that's okay.
Gotta love a guy who has a picture of his mom in his wallet.
This? Yeah.
Kristin, Mia, Raquel, etcetera, etcetera...
You won't be needing this any more.
You were drooling.
ZAVALA: What are we looking for again?
TAYLOR: All the food groups, dope, money and guns.
The ghetto will provide, bro.
Fucking Sarge. Sarge!
We're staking out Curbside. They're gonna spot your unit.
What, you think they don't know you're here?
Van Hauser wants to file a complaint on you, Taylor.
Oh, the USS Van Hauser?
The LAPD's stealthiest submarine,
only surfaces at the end of watch?
He said you were videotaping him.
What did I tell you about that shit?
Why is he such a bitter dude?
If he hates pushing the black and white so much,
why doesn't he just leave his badge on the watch commander's desk
and go home and eat a bowl of dicks?
SARGE: Have some empathy for this man.
Taylor, I gotta put in my log
that I verbally counseled you about this fucking camera.
What? I was documenting a crime scene.
Have a good day, ladies.
TAYLOR: Yeah. Take it easy.
TAYLOR: God, is that Big Evil's mom right there?
ZAVALA: His mom? Yeah, that's Mrs. Evil.
Who's the cowboy?
I don't know. He's got money, look at his truck.
I'm gonna run him.
You want to jam this fool?
Yes, I do.
Plate's clean. Shit.
What's our PC, though?
That stupid CD hanging from his rearview mirror,
obstructing his vision. (CHUCKLING)
Let's do this. All right.
Come on, fucker.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Light them up.
13 X-ray 13, we're Code 6
on three 9 street, east of Wall. (SIREN WAILS)
License plate 4-Boy-1-7-3-2.
Gray Dodge pickup.
DISPATCH: 13 X 13, roger, Code 6...
Let's get this fucker.
(MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
(ZAVALA SPEAKING SPANISH)
(CONVERSING IN SPANISH)
TAYLOR: Gun!
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
TAYLOR: Get the fuck out of the car.
Get the fuck out the car!
(SIREN WAILING)
You good, partner?
I'm good. (GRUNTING)
DAVIS ON RADIO: X 25 shows Code 6 with X 13.
DISPATCH: 13 x 2-5, roger.
OROZCO: You okay?
13 X-ray 13 show...
ZAVALA: Transport this son of a bitch.
DAVIS: Yeah, no problem.
(BOTH TALKING SPANISH)
(SWEARS IN SPANISH)
Check out this motherfucker's burner, bro.
Holy shit.
Dude, he's got more bling than the old lady's wedding ring.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
A cell.
TAYLOR: You don't have any holes in you? I'm good, bro.
Let's toss the truck.
OROZCO: Hey, who was he shooting at?
TAYLOR: What? Who was he shooting at?
Me.
OROZCO: That's fucked up, man.
PILOT ON RADIO: Air 11, show us responding.
TAYLOR: Fucking...
Soup.
Whoo-hoo! ZAVALA: What's up?
Yo, that's big money right there, bro. Shit.
Oh, shit.
What the fuck is it?
Homeboy's a player, dude.
We got a surprise for you.
Liberace's AK.
What? (TAYLOR CHUCKLING)
Holy shit.
TAYLOR: Here we have two of the major food groups, money and guns.
This is the lifeblood of our organization. Paperwork.
The way red corpuscles carry oxygen through the body,
paperwork carries information through the department.
What are corpuscles?
Evening, guys-
Evening. How you doing, Captain? Sir.
So this is it? These are the guns you took off the cowboy?
Yup. Yes, sir.
Mind if I pick them up?
Fancy.
That's some nice hardware.
Yeah, I heard he took a shot at you. You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm good. He's good.
Liberace's AK.
REESE: This looks like Liberace's AK.
Keep up the good work, guys. I really appreciate it. Carry on.
ZAVALA: Thank you. Good evening, sir.
Good night, Van Hauser.
Evening, sir.
Why do you get nervous?
Women want him, men want to be him, man. He's just...
Yeah, I know. But you want him.
Dude, I'm not gay, but I'd go down on him if he asked.
Sometimes I don't know when you're kidding.
And I have to know when you're kidding.
I'm not kidding. I gotta know when you're kidding.
I'm not kidding.
(CHUCKLING)
Oh! Dude. I gotta go.
I'm taking Janet to the Philharmonic.
Enjoy your white people shit.
Oh, thanks, I'll bring you back a burrito.
No problem.
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
(BOTH SINGING RAP SONG)
You're the best.
One more time.
(BOTH YAWNING)
Dude! Stop. Stop, man, fuck.
(YAWNING LOUDLY)
What are you gonna say to the taxpayers
when you crash the fucking car?
Drink more coffee.
Dude, I'm on my ninth fucking Red Bull.
Oh! We got a fire.
Where? Over there.
13 X-ray 13, we're Code 6 on a structure fire.
What's that address? 1-0-0-2.
1002 Sixth Street. Go ahead and send RA and fire.
DISPATCH: 13 X 13, roger on the RA.
(SOBBING) My babies! My babies are in there!
ZAVALA: Where? Where?
They're upstairs in the bedroom.
TAYLOR: All right, ma'am.
Z, no! Yo, yo, yo, Z! Z, wait for fire, bro! Fuck!
ZAVALA: Over there, kids' room. TAYLOR: Shit.
(COUGHING)
Dude, the kids' room, come on! Come here.
Hey, come here, come here.
Go with him! TAYLOR: Come on! Come here!
Come here. Wrap your arms around me.
There you go. Wrap your legs around me. You got it.
There you go. I'm going down, Z!
ZAVALA: Come on, come on, come on. Come on. Wrap your legs, then go. Yup.
Z, you all right? I'm good. I'm good.
Come on. Go, go, go, man!
I'm going, man. Fuck!
ZAVALA: Come on, put your head right here.
Come on.
Let's go! Let's go! TAYLOR: Come down!
Come on, man! (COUGHING)
Where's my baby girl? Where is she?
Wait, wait, wait, lady, you got more kids?
My girl. She's two.
Oh, shit.
No, Z, Z, no! Come on!
ZAVALA: Go, go, go, get up!
Fuck, it's hot.
TAYLOR: God damn it!
(COUGHING)
Come here, babe. Come here. Come here.
Cover her face. Put that blanket around her face.
I got her.
I can't breathe, bro.
(COUGHING)
ZAVALA: Come on, go, go, go.
TAYLOR: I can't see. Where you at?
I'm right here. Follow the light.
I can't see you.
TAYLOR: I'm right here.
TAYLOR: Come on.
I got it.
I got her. Shit.
(COUGHING) I'm going down.
TAYLOR: Come on. ZAVALA: All right.
(COUGHING)
Stay still. Stay still.
Come on, come on, come on. (RETCHING)
Fuck, I got it, man.
I fucking can't see out of my... (COUGHING)
(GASPING)
Where's Z, dude?
I'm right here, dude!
FIREMAN: Z, I'm gonna check you out, sit down right here.
Check you guys out. Can you open your eyes?
You all right, bro? Give me a bottle of water.
Z! Z!
(GROANING)
Get the fuck away, man!
I'm right here. I'm right here. Get away, get away, bro.
I'm right here, dude. TAYLOR: Fuck, man.
Get away, dude.
I'm right here. Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Don't fucking freak out, dude.
Shut up, shut up!
We're good, we're good.
Shut up. Shut up. All right.
(APPLAUDING)
MAYOR: For their selfless actions
and their exemplary service to the citizens of this city,
the Medal of Valor is presented to Officer Brian Taylor
and Officer Miguel Zavala.
What's up, Sandra?
Hi, Brian.
You feel like a hero?
What?
You feel like a hero?
No.
Yeah, me neither.
What's a hero feel like?
I don't know, man.
Did I tell you that me and Gabby
got into a huge fight over the fire?
Nope, you didn't tell me that.
She was...
She's like, "You could have died for someone else's kid
when ours hasn't even been born yet."
She's like, "You're not a fireman."
Janet said the same thing.
Yeah?
I don't think I could go in another burning building.
I only went in because you did. Just put that shit out there.
All right, dickhead, what is it?
You remember that cowboy with the blinged-out AK?
Yeah, he's probably my cousin.
All right, I crisscrossed some numbers on his cell.
Couple addresses come up in our basic area.
You're not a detective.
That guy is something. He's into something.
Oh, really? You think?
Dude, DA didn't buy the ADW, only filed on the weapons beef.
Gang Unit says they'll get to him,
but they're too busy or some shit.
And Narco's not interested because we didn't find dope.
Yeah, but you're not a detective.
You're not a fireman. Fuck you.
Follow me into the house, dude.
I said you're not a detective.
I want to be a detective.
You wanna be? Follow me into the house, dude.
Follow me into the house.
Follow me into the house, dude.
13 X-ray 13 with a Code 6 at 9-3-1-8, 5-3 street.
DISPATCH: 13 X 13, roger.
(FLIES BUZZING) The fuck? What the fuck?
This is weird.
(CHILD SCREAMING)
13 X-ray 13, you need to send us additional unit.
DISPATCH: 13 X 13 is requesting two additional units
for a building search at 1-0-0, 2-6 street.
(ZAVALA SPEAKING SPANISH)
It's okay, it's okay.
(SPEAKING SPANISH) It's okay. Goodbye.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Fuck this guy. (YELLS IN SPANISH)
Get that shit out of here.
(MAN SPEAKS SPANISH)
TAYLOR: I know what that means.
Shut the fuck up, man.
Spread your legs.
(TAYLOR SPEAKS SPANISH)
Spread your fucking legs.
Put your fucking head back.
Gun, partner. ZAVALA: Oh, yeah?
(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)
(REPLIES IN SPANISH)
TAYLOR: Get your fucking head back.
TAYLOR: Another gun, partner. ZAVALA: Two, huh?
Wads of cash.
All right, tell him to get on his knees.
(ZAVALA SPEAKING SPANISH)
Get the fuck over here.
13 X-ray 13. We've got one in custody.
DISPATCH: 13 X 13, roger.
TAYLOR: All right, we're good. All right.
What do we got?
ZAVALA: Check it out, partner.
I got this motherfucker. (BABY CRYING)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Oh, my God.